“All I have in this life is my balls and my word. And I don’t brake them for no one”
Tony Montana
Hey you.
This is Serg. I live in Malden, MA and I work in a local cafe.
It wasn’t until recently that I started thinking about why I do certain things. Why do anything?! Or even get out of bed. What’s the end goal?! Not looking for the answer to the meaning of life here, nobody can give me that. I don’t think. There was a guy on TV once that sounded promising. Too bad I never called that 1-800 number.
In Moldova there’s a saying about people with anti-social behavior: “that person doesn’t have seven years from home“. The literal translation doesn’t tell you much. What it really means is that person is lacking manners. He or she is a piece of work.
I’m a firm believer that the first seven years of one’s life are the most important. It will shape them forever. The moral compass has a direction by then and it will take a life-altering event to change its’ course. There’s several cultures that subscribe to that way of thinking.
I get most of how I am from my mom, and most of how I look from my dad. Why is that relevant to what I do every day ?
For the first period, most business owners ARE their business. And the other way around. There’s so many little decisions that had to be made, starting with the equipment inside and finishing with the kind of forks and spoons. Everything about our cafe is a representation of who we are.
It’s rare that someone has the luxury to just pay someone else to open them a business. I guess if you buy a franchise, it’s not that rare. However, there’s nothing on your part there that’s unique or innovative . You get the point. It would also defeat the purpose, in my opinion, you miss out on the journey that will reveal more about who you are than anything else. Still, it’s not for everyone. But I digress.
I have a friend that’s very successful. And I measure success differently than most people. The money component is important, just not THE most important aspect. It doesn’t matter if you’re not happy. There’s studies that support that fact. After a certain level of income, the person making more money doesn’t necessarily become happier. My grandfather lived in a rural area his whole life and he had enough. And never complained. He didn’t have a lot of money, but he had the love and respect of those around him. That’s more important for a happy life than anything, in my opinion.
So this successful friend of mine will say his core values at any given time, throughout a conversation, and the values are numbered. Depends on what the situation calls for. I asked him about it and he told me how he operates. Every time he makes a decision, he runs that decision by his 8 core values. If it contradicts with any of them, he doesn’t do it. That’s the compass I was talking about and what integrity is all about.
Let me try that.
I realized I was already doing things in my life according to a set of values I have. I just never wrote them down until a few days ago. Here’s my 10 core values.
- Health & Family come first.
- How you do anything is how you do everything.
- Value relationships over possessions.
- Do more with less. Work harder. (“If a problem can be solved with money, then that’s not a problem, it’s an expense”).
- If it’s not a HELL YES then it’s a NO. (when judging opportunities, new relationships & partnerships)
- Make commitments and follow through at all times.
- Always keep moving.
- Seek discomfort.
- Always look on the bright side of life (just like the song)
- There’s always something I don’t know; yet.
This is it. This is who I am. Now you know everything. This is how I make friends, how I judge a situation and what to do at any given time.
I know the title of this post is designed to make you want click on it. I’m sorry.
“Why you have to define your core values now.” That would be too easy, no?! Our whole life, we’re waiting for someone to give us the answers, it’s easier this way. After all, our brains try to be as energy efficient as possible. I was talking to a lady on the phone the other day about something. Don’t clearly remember what it was. I’ve never met this person and she was telling me about my “obligations this and that”. That’s when I stopped listening. “I don’t have an obligation to do anything“, I tell her. She didn’t like that. Oh well. That’s not entirely true: I have an obligation to die and pay taxes. That’s it. Hopefully, the former happens later rather than sooner. I like to ask forgiveness rather than permission on most other actions I take.
The point of this whole paragraph is this: Don’t let anyone tell you what you HAVE to do. It’s a good idea to write down your core values, though. It will help you understand better why you do what you do. Deep down, you know already. A bit of self-awareness never hurt anyone. And it’s more useful on paper.
I plan on putting my 10 values on my wall and look at them every day. It’s important I never forget them, especially the first one.
Do you know what your core values are? Share them below. I read all comments, I promise.
Thank you kindly for reading all the way to the end. I hope I’ve earned your subscription.
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